Gary Hall’s Weblog

Please answer either Yes or No to each of the ten questions below. The correct answers are printed at the bottom of the page.

1) - These days you will often hear bands such as Oasis, Coldplay and Keane bleat on about how the Beatles’ have been a massive influence on their music.  After carefully considering the music that these bands make, do you feel that the Beatles’ influence has been a good thing?

2) - Ross Cameron (PHD), a lecturer in philosophy at the University of Leeds claims that when Sir Paul wrote the line ‘her name was Magil and she called herself Lil, but everyone knew her as Nancy’ in the song ‘Rocky Racoon’, that our old mucca Macca was “elaborating Frege’s sense/reference distinction’.   Would you agree?

3) - During his glory years, George Martin had Geoff Emerick at his side, the world’s greatest session musicians at his beck and call, access to the best studio technology money could buy and an unlimited budget.  Do you think that he could have made better use of his time working with more talented artists of the day such as Scott Walker, Brian Wilson, Bob Dylan and the like?

4)  - If you discovered that your son or daughter had been invited to go to a birthday party which featured for their entertainment a performance by Fab Four puppeteer, Mr. Puppet, would you still be prepared to allow your child to attend?

5)  - Do you find it ironic that, every time a Fab Four fan buys a Beatles-based product, a portion of their hard-earned cash will end up in the pockets of Yoko Ono (the woman who, allegedly, broke up the Beatles) and, in a roundabout way, once the divorce case is settled, Heather Mills McCartney (who, allegedly, broke Paul’s heart)?
 
6)  - As you are no doubt aware; in order for a song to receive heavy rotation on the radio it must be safe, bland, obvious, repetitive and appeal to the lowest common denominator. Bearing that in mind, would you be surprised to discover that the most played song on radio of all time is ‘Yesterday’ (formerly ‘Scrambled Eggs’) by the Beatles?

7)  - If Led Zeppelin had employed Ringo instead of John Bonham as their drummer, would they still have gained their reputation as the greatest live rock ‘n’ roll band on earth?

8) -There are tens of thousands of people in the world today who will openly declare Sergeant Peppers to be their favourite album of all time.  Would you agree that this statistic, more than any other, offers cast iron proof of just how low the combined intelligence quotient of the human race has sunk?

9) - Please study the following facts carefully:

Fact One - Love - the latest musical monstrosity the Fab Four industry is using to part the band’s fans from their cash – has a recommended retail price of £15.99

Fact Two - Cortimoxazole - according to the charity Global Movement For Children - is an antibiotic that prevents life threatening infections in HIV infected children (of which there are over four million in Africa) and costs less than half a penny per day per dose per child.

Would you agree that the money required to purchase a copy of the Love CD would, perhaps, be better spent on the latter? 

10) - Even though John was hardly in the same league as the likes of John Fogerty, Bob Seeger or Gary US Bonds as a rock ‘n’ roll singer, when he put his mind to it he was, undeniably, the best singer by far in the Beatles. However, would you also agree that on tracks like ‘Across The Universe’ and ‘Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds’ when he chose to sing in that ‘Oh please Sir it wasn’t me, it was Wiggins’ voice of his that he wasn’t really doing himself any favours as a vocalist?
 

 The Answers
1) No
2) No
3) Yes
4) No
5) Yes
6) No
7) No
8) Yes
9) Yes
10) Yes

How did you score?

(0-3) - You need to pull your socks up, STOP following the herd and START following your heart.

(4-7) - You are still displaying some disturbing signs of longing to fit in and merge with the masses in order to be able to take the easy road through life. Be careful, the next step down this slippery slope could find you standing in a queue at your local Tesco’s with a Franz Ferdinand CD in your shopping trolley and a smug look on your face, convinced that you’re breaking new ground!

(8-10) - Thank you for taking the time to read my book, let me take this opportunity to wish you a Merry Christmas and a Beatle-free New Year.

www.freespeechbooks.com